Friends

Last night I went for a much needed Toffee Nut Latte Venti at Starbucks with one of my best friends.
We had a long talk about lots of things, one of them our mommy experiences.

Her son is 5 years old, while mine, is barely 6 months.
She always talked about how it was for her, but I never truly understood as much as I do now, as I am just beginning to go through some of the same things.

I realize now how lost I was in what I imagined Motherhood to be. I had heard so many things, but one truly doesn't get it until you're a mother.
It's the hardest, most stressful job, but it's so amazing, so incredible. Seeing your baby is seriously breathtaking.

But people always talk about the good stuff. The gorgeous toothless smiles, learning to sit, or crawl, or walk. New words and new achievements.
People rarely talk about the hard things. Like postpartum depression, aching breasts while breastfeeding and how HARD it is in the beginning. The HUGE hormone changes. Feeling sad, VERY sad after birth and not understanding why. Losing your patience when your kid won't stop screaming. Nights when you just cry yourself to sleep, because well, it's so much, and no one understands. So we talked about that.
It's so great to have Mommy Friends. They are SO necessary. I am so thankful for all my mommy friends. And to be able to talk to someone who understands. And I'm thankful also for all the adventures and experiences I have encountered in the last 6 months. My first semester as a Mother. I'm a rookie. But I think I'm doing ok. =)

And then I think of God. Of my Jesus. My father. I think of how much love I have for my son, and then I think of how much more He loves me. The experiences I'm going through as a new mother, aren't easy, but they aren't because my son is mad at me, or wants to get back at me for scraping his leg with my engagement ring, or because I accidentally pinched him, or poked his eye. No. Caleb is not punishing me. He doesn't know better.
But what we do to God... WE know better. We know what hurts Him and we do it anyway. And things we bring upon ourselves, we blame on Him. If I hurt when my son cries, He hurts so much more when we suffer. He aches when we hurt Him, and yet, He has already forgiven us.
I would give anything for my son. God has already given EVERYTHING for me. How amazing is that??

He knows my struggles, but he gives me strength. Thank You Father.